Finals Week on Masterchef!

This post is very belated, a new puppy has hit the household and caused mayhem, hence my long absence!

For more information on this show visit http://www.masterchef.tv/

Here are our three finalists!

Dhruv, 33, Sales Director and family man (middle of shot), Tim, 36, Children’s doctor (front of picture) and Alex, 26, Freelance writer (at the back in the photo).

For the first of the big three final shows, the gang head off to Jodhpur in India. John and Gregg appear, shouting at the camera in front of some bemused locals. The contestants face 72 hours of tasks, but before all that starts, they get to look around and acclimatise. They are suitably awed by the bustling surroundings and the colourful region they find themselves in.

At 6am the next day, they are off to the Mahranga fort, which is over 500 years old and has a proud tradition of lavish entertaining. They are here to do breakfast. John emphasises the art of good Indian food and the significance of breakfast for local culture. There are 40 VIP guests from town to cater for; local business leaders and dignitaries, and the contestants have two hours to prepare the food. It is very hot where they are cooking, out in blazing sun, and they are watched over by local chef Dhura.

Alex makes Mata Bhali, pea curry, with Poori- traditional breads, all of which is very subtly spiced. Dhruv is making Indian dumplings and Tim is doing the Gobi Paratha, flatbreads with cauliflower. All the contestants are under pressure and sweating profusely in the 80O heat. Dhruv has started the fillings for his dumplings but not the dough. With 45 minutes to go all are behind and the temperature has hit 100O. Breakfast is due to be served at 9am, but Dhruv is running late and chef has to get him some help. Alex is over doing his breads, the oil is too hot, and Tim is finishing off his paratha breads. Finally it’s ready.

First up Tim’s Gobi Paratha flatbreads and Raita dip. The guests think the parathas are very good and the balance is fine. Then Alex’s spiced pea curry follows. The guests feel it’s a little bland but that the Pooris are good. The spicing is too subtle. Alex admits he thought he would not get it done and is relieved to have made it. Dhruv is still cooking and is going to be late, so is very disappointed. He gets out his dish to rave reviews- the guests say that the dish is well done, a good colour and optimally spiced. Dhruv is relieved. Gregg and John are pleased with their performance.

Their long, hot, cooking day continues as they head into the centre of Jodhpur. Their next challenge is in a school making dinner for 120 pupils and staff. They are doing some school favourites so they will soon hear if they get it wrong. The chefs at this school are renowned for their culinary skill, so the contestants must match their high standards. They are faced with serving big numbers, cooking unfamiliar cuisine in volume, a very hard challenge. They are being watched over by Shchita Singh, the catering manager at the school.

The dishes are butter chicken masala and matar Pilaw, to be cooked by Tim, Chilli Paneer (an Indian cheese) and cauliflower korma, which Dhruv will make, along with chapattis, and Suji Ka Halwa, semolina baked dessert as well as Dahl Makhani, which Alex is responsible for. They must serve at eight sharp, and have made Alex leader to get them there- a situation he admits to not being overly comfortable with. Gregg hopes he rises to the challenge. As they begin John ticks them off for standing around chatting rather than working. Tim is frantically cooking chicken. Dhruv fries cheese and Alex cooks lentils. John, still on his high horse, reminds Alex to keep tasting his dish. He believes it’s lacking something. Alex calls out the one hour time check and John shouts that something is burning. It turns out to be Dhruv’s Paneer. John now switches tack and wants them all to calm down- not that he’s been particularly soothing up to now! Dhruv goes to help Alex perfect his spicing on the Dahl. Dhruv suggests adding salt. Alex makes the chapattis. John, still prowling the kitchen, spots another problem- the cauliflower is on the hob, but it’s not on! Tim takes over on chapattis. John continues to deliver a strange hybrid of harassment/pep talk, as the cauliflower starts cooking against the clock. It makes it just in time and the team begin to put out their food.

The pupils arrive for dinner. They give their verdicts; the butter chicken is nice, spicy, and yummy, the chilli Paneer is very good, they loved it, very tasty, and the chapattis are nice and soft. The Dahl is very nice but lacks spice, despite Alex and Dhruv’s combined efforts. Some pupils want second servings! The catering manager is very pleased and says they passed the test. John is happy (finally), they have delivered good food of an unfamiliar cuisine in volume and on time. Alex is also happy with the service and the feedback. Tim says it’s been hard but he loved it. Dhruv summarises his experience as hot, stressful, tiring and hard, but with fantastic rewards.

The next day it is very hot- 105O- and they are heading for another daunting challenge. They go to Umaid Bhawan Palace, home of HH Maharaja Gaj Singh, who is hosting some of his family for a special dinner. The contestants are to be his personal chefs. They must perform to a high standard; the Maharaja is a real foodie and knows his stuff. They are also highly privileged to have the opportunity to cook for royalty, so they must deliver.

The palace is one of the world’s largest private residences. The guests will dine in the marble pavilion. The finalists have four hours to cook a course each and must also create a vegetarian alternative to each, as some of the guests are observing an important religious festival when meat is off the menu.

Alex is making the starter of tea smoked duck breast and lobster, with a vegetarian option of cauliflower pakoras and aubergine caviar. Dhruv is doing spiced masalam lamb two ways with saffron pommes anna and beetroot chutney. His vegetarian dish is spiced squash filled dumplings with fried aubergine and carrot puree. Tim is making the dessert, a lemon and cardamom delice with white chocolate mousse. The delice is replaced with green tea sorbet and roasted pineapple for those observing a vegetarian diet.

As cooking progresses we find Alex desperately and unsuccessfully attempting to set some maple jelly, with John urging him on. Dhruv is up against it. Tim is struggling with his dessert. Everyone is worried, including the judges. John sounds like a football coach as he calls out ‘come on boys!’ Alex’s Jelly has still not set. He bungs in more gelatine. John is now voicing his concerns to anyone who will listen. Luckily for his highness there are back up chefs preparing a back up meal should everything fail to come together.

Alex leaves on time for the finishing kitchen, which has been set up close to the marble pavilion. Dhruv is due over next, but he’s still making his dumplings. Gregg wonders aloud about whether he has given himself too much to do. Dhruv agrees with him, as he is still behind. Tim is now also moving over to the finishing kitchen. His sorbets defrost almost instantly and must go back to refuge in the freezer.

The guests settle down for dinner and are soon presented with Alex’s starter of duck and lobster served with maple sauce. They like the duck and lobster, it is fresh and nice, although some think the sauce is a little bland. Overall they feel it is a great combination. Alex is called up to be praised and thanked, and he thanks them for their responses. Dhruv is minutes away from serving and still finishing his lamb. The waiter is yelling for the main course. Finally the lamb arrives. The guests say that the flavours are nice and the vegetarian option (squash dumplings) is excellent. The dish is spicy, rich and excellently presented. Everyone wants more of the lamb. Dhruv is praised and says he feels blown away by the occasion and will never forget it. Tim is last and grabs his sorbet from the freezer. The cardamom delice is ok but the sorbet is not set. He gets on with plating up and the dish is served. The guests praise the subtle flavours and think it’s all very nice. When Tim approaches to meet the guests one of them tells him he doesn’t know how good a doctor he is but judging by his dessert he should get into food. Tim is amazed that he has cooked for a king and feels beyond happiness.

John and Gregg are satisfied and happy with them all, they gave a fantastic performance. Gregg says they excelled.

Second show of the final three. For tonight’s first task the contestants are put in charge of a top London restaurant- a brand new Masterchef challenge. They will then cook for the world’s most revered chef, Alain Ducasse. None of the finalists have been put off by their experiences so far, they still want to change their lives!

The three meet John and Gregg at Prism in the city. They are told that they are going to get control of the restaurant’s kitchen and cook for the customers; they actually get to think of this place as if it is their own restaurant. They need to create and cook recipes that will bring in guests and money. The finalists are all nervous but very excited. They have less than a day to plan their menus.

Menus prepared, they come to Prism. As the owner of two restaurants John will be overseeing service (so we can expect lots of hyping everyone up followed by telling them all to calm down). He tells them before they start that it won’t be easy but that this is an important first step for them if they want to make it in this industry.

Alex’s starter is lamb sweetbreads with bacon. His mains are sea trout with Kale and Osso buco. He admits his success will depend on whether there is public interest in offal. Dhruv is doing a spiced duck leg puri starter, and mains of coriander roasted rump of lamb with celeriac puree, and spiced ballotine of guinea fowl with mushroom pilau. He is nervous about his timings. Tim is making a peeled tomato salad starter. His main courses are pan fried pork loin and slow roast pork belly, and a roast leg of partridge on grilled polenta. He has a lot to do. Each finalist has a commis chef to help them. Each commis chef says it will be hard for them to do it all.

John starts calling out the countdown and worrying loudly about Tim’s mains being ready on time. He is checking up on him. Six jobs are done but there are still eight to go. Dhruv has the most complex menu with the most time consuming processes. John is concerned and thinks he might need to send him more help. Gregg observes that all the contestants are tense and worried, all working hard. John again expresses his concerns over being ready for service. The regular staff at Prism comment that their diners know what they do and don’t like, so this should be interesting.

John advises everyone to brief the maitre’d so the waiting staff know about the dishes, but they are all in a flap, with Alex’s mash over seasoned and Dhruv struggling. The staff anticipate about 70 diners. John warns everyone that the first diners are in and then they are off, he calls out the first orders. The finalists must have the food perfect and ready to go on time.

Dhruv’s duck puri is an instant hit. Tim’s tomato salad is popular too. Alex’s sweetbreads are pretty quiet. John is sending orders- they’ve completed their first round. The diners’ comments are given; they liked the tomato starter, though one was not blown away by it. The duck was nice but someone says it was not warm. They felt it was tasty with unusual spices- the dish works.

More orders are coming in and John is calling them out. Dhruv and Tim still have loads of orders. Tim slips as he rushes about and bangs his ribs on the bin. John is very concerned and warns him he may pull him off the line if he can’t cope after fifteen minutes. Tim really wants to carry on. Crisis two emerges- Dhruv has dropped his wedding ring. John freaks out as it could be in the food. Dhruv’s starters can’t go until they find the ring, and with the popularity, things are really backing up. Alex finally gets and order and John, for want of anything better to do, is hassling for his dish. The sweetbreads go out and the guests seem to enjoy them- though some had no idea what they were.

Dhruv’s wedding ring is found on the floor. John is almost ecstatic that it isn’t in anyone’s food. Dhruv, finally free to continue, is playing catch up on his lamb and guinea fowl mains. John is not happy that he’s running late and tells him he is a donkey. Luckily for Dhruv the diners love the mains, the guinea fowl is much loved and the lamb is enjoyed so much that there is not enough of it!

Tim is clinging onto service despite his injury. He is working his partridge and pork mains and John is shouting for the plates. The diners get the pork and think it is amazing and lovely. The partridge is received and also great, though the polenta is a little cold for one guest. Alex is suddenly inundated with orders for his mains of osso buco and sea trout. The diners receiving these think they are nice, the osso buco slightly dry for some, the trout cooked to perfection for others. Service winds down and all are said to be coping well with running their own kitchen, although let’s be honest, John has been running this kitchen tonight! John is (finally) happy. Overall Alex had a slow start but his dishes went well, all Tim’s dishes were a hit, and Dhruv’s menu was the one which really caught the diner’s imagination; his dishes were the night’s best sellers. Dhruv is very satisfied.

In 24 hours our contestants will cook for arguably the planet’s greatest chef. First though, they get a chance to practice their skills back in the MC kitchen. They are going to make 60 canapés, so the judges want consistency, beauty and volume, all in 60 mins. The three get down to it, John calls out the 30 minute warning, then it’s time to look at the fruits of their labours.

Tim has made gazpacho shots, courgette and dappled cheese wraps with tomato and caper sauce, and exploding lemon macaroons. John likes the taste of the shot, thinks the flavour is good but the consistency is wrong, being too thick. The courgette canapé is not easy to eat and would be messy. Gregg doesn’t like the courgette one at all. The macaroons go down better; John thinks they are well made and fantastic. Alex has made salmon ceviche and crème fraiche with sorrel on black pepper oatcakes, duck heart, balsamic and elderberry crostini with cucumber julienne, and popcorn shots with black olive toffee. John likes the salmon canapés. Gregg thinks the duck hearts and crostini are brave and daring, and John would rather not eat them but will because it’s his job. He comments that they need more elderberry and more moisture. Gregg does not like the liquid popcorn and says it has the texture of meat dripping. John worries that Alex is trying to scare people. Dhruv has made salmon with lime, chilli and coriander, gazpacho shots with tiger prawns and mango and cardamom rum syllabub spoons. John likes the look of what he’s done, loves the salmon, so does Gregg and John also loves the gazpacho soup with prawns. Gregg absolutely adores the dessert. Overall he’s had an impressive round. All the contestants found this round tough.

Now onto cooking for Alain Ducasse, a man with 19 Michelin stars. His cuisine is without equal. Cooking for him will test the skills of the contestants as he has possibly the world’s best palate. The contestants enter the kitchen and meet executive chef Jocelyn Herland who introduces Mr Ducasse. He asks them to prepare three high level recipes for him from his own restaurant menu, so he can assess their level. All are suitably awed by meeting him. Ducasse’s recipes are innovative and contain many contrasting flavours. Each dish can have over 50 processes and take more than seven hours.

Dhruv is doing a starter of roast chicken, lobster medallions and mushrooms with pasta, sweetbreads and chicken quenelles, cream sauce, and chicken jus. Tim will make the main; fillet of braised halibut, orange jelly, kumquat chips and aubergine baba ganoush with Swiss chard and a citrus ponzu sauce. Alex takes on a multi-layered dessert of vanilla crème brulee, fresh pineapple brunoise, pineapple jam, vanilla emulsion, pineapple sorbet and pineapple crisp, with a pineapple financier served alongside. Angelo Ercolano, Ducasse’s top pastry chef, will work with Alex on this.

Dhruv starts with his quenelles, which are minced chicken sieved and worked into a mousse. Tim sets out by filleting his halibut, a top quality fish worth hundreds of pounds, so he needs to be careful! Alex is doing his pineapple crisps, but Angelo is not happy with his initial attempts, they need to be crisper. He has to redo them. Then they are too thin and he must make them thicker! Chef Jocelyn is fretting that Tim may be focusing too much on following the recipe rather than using his own palate. The two hours to go warning is called out. Alex is pressing on with his pineapple financiers. Dhruv is busy with his pasta, and the consistency of the dough is crucial. Tim’s orange jelly has not set. He has to remake it.

Ducasse, meanwhile, is not dining alone. He has mentored some of the most famous names in modern cuisine over the years and is being joined by five of his Michelin star winning protégés; Helene Darroze, restaurant Darroze Paris (2 stars) and the Connaught, London (1 star); Clare Smyth, restaurant Gordon Ramsay (3 stars); Alexis Gaultier, Roussillon, London (1 star); Tom Kitchin, The Kitchin (1 star), Claude Bosi, Hibiscus (2 star).

Dhruv is warned that he only has 25 minutes to go. All his elements are to cook last minute. He is being urged to hurry up but any mistake could ruin his dish. He plates up and out it goes.

Clare thinks the starter is very good, well cooked and seasoned. Alexis says that a lot of skills have been shown and he is impressed. Tom calls it beautiful, says he is in awe. Claude remarks that you could pay more money in other restaurants and not have a dish as good. Ducasse comments ‘a potential competitor for us, eh?’

Dhruv slinks warily in looking like a rabbit in the headlights. Ducasse tells him ‘This is a serious dish. You have respected the origins and flavours’. Clare remarks that this is up there. Tom tells him he should be proud as it was cooked to perfection and for all these wonderful chefs tasting it -it was top drawer. Ducasse congratulates him.

Dhruv leaves the room and says he feels very emotional. He’s cooked for his food heroes and feels it is the perfect end to a perfect day.

Tim is still slaving over his halibut. The fish must be perfectly poached. Now he starts plating up and out comes his meal!

Clare feels it is missing some salt. Helene says the Halibut is well cooked. Tom agrees that the fish is cooked beautifully, the chard is done correctly but the kumquats are not quite right and the aubergine is very smoky. Some parts are perfection, others not quite there. Ducasse remarks that this is a difficult dish because of the flavour combinations and he has done a good job.

Tim comes in for comments. Clare tells him he did well and she understands he was under pressure. Alexis says he is a good technician. The fish was perfectly cooked and the chard well braised, but the jus was not reduced enough. Tim welcomes the criticism. Later he says he found it a shock seeing all the chefs but that he feels lucky to have cooked for them.

Alex is last up with dessert. He’s finding it tough but out it goes.

Ducasse starts out saying ‘tres bien! You can smell it.’
Claude asks if he is sure that it is not one of his chefs that did this dessert, as it is fantastic. Helene says the crème brulee is perfect. Alexis thinks it is like eating a pineapple cloud. Helene concludes ‘that wasn’t perfection?’ and Claude asks, ‘can I have another one please?’

Alex enters for judgement. Alexis tells him right away that he is super gifted and that he does not believe that he has not done pastry before. Ducasse says he tasted the original and remembered perfectly the harmony between the elements. He thinks it was a perfect dessert and congratulates him. Once out of the room a delighted Alex says that that was a special moment, incredible, and he feels any self doubt has been removed.

All the contestants get a warm round of applause from the diners. Gregg and John are bursting with pride, saying they were outstanding and amazing; the best three amateur cooks in the country.

Now it’s all down to this Masterchef final!

The three finalists were whittled down from 136 contestants. Previous winners include Thomasina Myers, who now has her own restaurant, as does another winner Matt Follas, and James Nathan, who found work with Rick Stein.

John and Gregg feel it is very close. They face three final challenges; the Invention test, a trip to Europe to work in three Michelin-starred restaurants, and then cooking three faultless plates of food for our salivating judges.

We catch up with our finalists. Tim, from Norwich, wants to leave the medical world behind him. He finds his job satisfying and rewarding but he has such a passion for food he would like to explore. Tim has impressed throughout with elegant and technical dishes. Sometimes though, he has just missed the mark. His wife is very proud of him and believes this could be his new career. He wants his own restaurant in Norfolk. Dhruv is a Londoner who wants to make his passion his career for his family. He has had a range of food influences with his dad being English and his mum Indian. His mum is really proud of what he’s achieved. Dhruv’s fusion style has delivered stunning flavours and beautiful dishes, but he can give himself too much to do. Dhruv says he has a wife and son and a great job, he is very happy, but his cooking is a nagging itch. It’s something he never thought he could do and now he really wants it. Finally we visit Alex in Cambridge. He lives in the Cambridgeshire countryside and loves the rural lifestyle. He cooks and writes about food as a freelance writer. Charlotte, his girlfriend, knows he would be happy in the kitchen; he does so well pleasing people with food. Alex’s modern, sometimes experimental, style has produced truly memorable food, although not every dish is successful and can divide the crowd. Alex says he has surprised himself throughout the competition and has had an amazing experience.

First up, the Invention Test. They have 60 minutes to make one dish. Their ingredients include rack of lamb, langoustine, celeriac, lemon sole, spinach, Jerusalem artichoke, carrots, peas and chillies. Tim feels confident. Dhruv is very aware he must now meet every challenge. Alex says this is what it is all about and that the results must be faultless. They get down to plating up.

Tim has made fish soup, langoustine tails and a pan-fried fillet of sole, served with a rouille. Gregg loves the flavours and the stock is beautiful. It looks lovely but is not thick enough. Too watery. John adores the taste but there is nothing for it to hold onto. It should be more solid. Dhruv has cooked roasted rack of lamb, spinach spiced with fenugreek, celeriac puree with cardamom and chilli and spiced poached pears, with a red wine and lamb jus. Gregg loves the fenugreek and jus with the lamb, but the pear is unnecessary. John thinks everything on the plate is well cooked and the pear was a risk, but he feels it works well. Alex has made a mustard crusted lamb with dauphinoise potatoes, spinach glazed carrots, Jerusalem artichoke puree, and a sauce made from lamb juices. John finds the vegetables lovely, but he’s not cooked the lamb correctly and the sauce has split. Gregg agrees, there’s a greasy finish and the lamb is chewy. Alex admits he is gutted. Gregg tells him he still believes in him, but he can’t afford another slip up.

Now the contestants are sent off to some of the best restaurants in Europe for some tutoring from some of the world’s best chefs. Each venue has three Michelin stars. Tim is going to work with Chef Marc Haeberlin at L’auberge de L’ill in France. He knows they will expect perfection. Alex is off to Le Calandre in Italy to work with Chef Massimiliano Alajmo. He is desperate to impress. Dhruv is travelling to Holland, to De Librije and Chef Johnnie Boer. Dhruv says this is cooking at the highest standard and is quite a frightening prospect.

At L’auberge de L’ill Chef Marc greets Tim. The restuarant has held its three michelin stars for 42 years and many of the venue’s original dishes are still on the menu. Tim will be recreating the classic pigeon dish with truffle and cabbage. It requires precision. With work, he does ok. Over at Le Calandre, Chef Massimiliano is renowned for his recreations of traditional Italian cuisine. Alex is having a go at the grilled rabbit sandwich with mozzarella sphaghetti, aubergine sorbet and oregano, caper and tomato sauce. The aubergine sorbet is made with liquid nitrogen. Alex makes a good job of it. Dhruv is working with Johnnie Boer who is showing him the importance of attention to detail. Dhruv is making Johnnie’s interpretation of a crab and shrimp cocktail. Dhruv feels terrified. The crab meat must be checked under a UV light to ensure there is no shell in it. He is managing.

It’s lunchtime across Europe and the finalist’s food must be up to standard. A Michelin inspector could visit at any time. Tim is working the pigeon and impressing chef. His plating up is fine too. Diners say it looks and smells good. It’s excellent. Alex in Italy is on his rabbit. The chef is pleased with his handling of the ingredients and presentation skills. The diner says it is perfect and the rabbit is very very good. Over in Holland Dhruv gets an order for his complicated shrimp cocktail. Worse still it is going to a very discerning diner, two Michelin starred chef Moshik Roth from restaurant Brouwerskolkje. Chef Johnnie explains this to Dhruv and says he must make it beautiful. Dhruv is carefully putting the tiny elements together. Chef thinks he is working well and very clean. The dish goes out. Chef Roth thinks the dish is sexy and gives him goose pimples as is so fine- definitely three Michelin starred cookery. Dhruv has pleased two chefs, one in the restaurant and one in the kitchen!

Now each contestant must cook the signature dish that helped make the restaurants famous and serve it to the chef who created it. Tim presents Chef Marc Haeberlin with warm chocolate mousse in a filo pastry shell, with caramelised mango and vanilla ice cream, sprinkled with pistachio pieces. The chef thinks it is well seasoned and not too sugary; the caramel is good and not too sweet, overall perfect. He wishes him luck in the final and says he is talented, clever and quick. Alex is cooking for Chef Massimiliano Alajmo and his brother Raphael, the restaurant manager. He is doing saffron risotto with liquourice powder. Chef likes the rice and the balance is perfect- it could be served in the restaurant. Raphael thinks it’s perfect and close to what is being served. Chef tells Alex that he has appreciated how much the dish means to them and that he could come to work with them if he would like. Dhruv is working on ‘two dimensions, two spaces’ a dish of white fish cooked four ways with pickled mushrooms and baby veg, for Chef Johnnie Boer and his wife Thérèse Boer-Tausch. Johnnie thinks the fillet had to be precise but is very good. It is exactly what he would serve in the restaurant. His wife says Dhruv is born to be a cook- it’s in his blood. Dhruv is emotional at such praise, it’s unbelievable.

And lastly- the final three dishes! Gregg and John are turned out smartly for the special occasion. The finalists have two hours to make three courses. They begin.

Alex admits he has given himself a lot to do. He is making Pheasant Salin bocca, with beetroot jus, spheres of butternut squash. His main is venison and red cabbage. The dessert will be Tarte tatin with pear and a blue cheese ice cream. Dhruv is hoping to show what he has learned. He has lots of work to do. He is cooking a starter of poached lobster with saffron and ginger. His main is venison with fenugreek and potatoes. His dessert is poached pear, masala ice cream and chocolate truffle. Tim has high expectations of himself and wants to show that he can go for it. He’s doing some complicated food. He’s starting with an open lasagna of butternut squash, mushrooms and sage butter. His main is pheasant with pomme anna, bread sauce and cabbage and two jellies. His dessert will be Mont Blanc chestnut puree with lots of cream and a pear poached in toffee.

10 minutes to go is called and they all plate up. First up is Alex with his pheasant salin bocca. John says it has extraordinary flavour from the bacon, rich flavours throughout, brought alive by sage. Gregg thinks the dish is interesting and pleasant. Then it’s the main; Gregg thinks it is really good, John says it has softness from the venison, sweetness from the red cabbage and that the sauce maybe a little too sweet. For his dessert, John feels the tartin is lovely but he doesn’t like the addition of the blue cheese ice cream. Gregg agrees completely. Dhruv is next. Tasting his starter John highlights the lobster sweetness, fennel sharpness and the chilli warmth. He loves it. Gregg says it’s gorgeous, very accomplished cooking. They go to his main. John says everything is cooked beautifully, there are great flavours and textures from the potatoes. He thinks it’s lovely but lacks oomph. Gregg likes the look, says it is subtle, but he loves it. He feels he is falling in love with it. Finally his trio of desserts. Gregg finds it delicious and very exciting, brilliant. John says though it is stone cold it warms the pallet, looks stunning and he loves it. Last to be judged is Tim. Gregg loves the look, flavours and textures of his starter. John adores the big sweet flavour followed by the mushrooms. It’s elegant. When they taste his main Gregg says it is fantastic, beautiful, and that the flavours from the jelly make it brilliant. John says it is beautiful and delicious. Finally the dessert. Gregg thinks it is stunning and looks lovely. He’d tweak bits but it’s fundamentally fantastic. John loves the texture but the coffee is extremely strong, though his skill and thought should be applauded.

Overall the judges are proud and all excelled. The three go out to wait as John and Gregg have their final deliberations.

It’s time. They file back in. The winner is....

Dhruv!

He actually cries with joy and is overwhelmed. The two losers come out to talk to camera. Tim says it’s a bit of a pain he hasn’t won but he is still further on in his dream to change his life, and perhaps that is slightly more important than the trophy. Alex says he is disappointed that he did not cook to his best and made a couple of little mistakes, but that any disappointment he is feeling is offset by admiration and genuine happiness for Dhruv, because he deserves it.

Back in with John and Gregg Dhruv is mopping himself up. He says he is pinching himself. He can’t believe it, after years of dreams and ambitions, it’s mind blowing. Words can’t begin to describe how he feels. He says he is on the path to where he wants to go and he is so excited he can’t wait to get back in the kitchen. Gregg says Dhruv is one of the most amazing talents he has ever seen and he has the palate of an angel. John agrees, saying Dhruv has a talent that very few people will ever have- that is- to cook the most amazing food he has ever tasted.

They present Dhruv with his trophy. Dhruv says it will be the first piece of furniture in his restaurant. Congratulations to Dhruv Baker, Masterchef Champion 2010!

Semi-finals Week On Masterchef

More Masterchef info at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006t1k5

Picture: Semi-finalists. L to R, Alex, Stacie, Nargis, Terry, Tim and Dhruv.

First up, let’s meet the Semi-finalists:

Stacie, 27

PA, NE girl and 60s fan is appropriately shown rocking up on a scooter. She says she has a niche as a regional British cook and that she has to beat the others, she wants to win.

Terry, 22

With his quirky slightly unkempt appearance Terry looks like the next Doctor Who. Terry is unemployed, a fact which is causing him to have a lot riding on the competition, which he sees as his chance to ‘Do something’.

Dhruv, 33

Sales Director and family man Dhruv says this means the world and that he is quietly confident but it will get tough. He has to get better to keep John and Gregg pleased. His wife Aileen is proud of him.

Tim, 36

Poor children’s doctor Tim somehow manages to look like he is in constant pain. He admits that the pressure is on.

Nargis, 29

Physiotherapist and ultra competitive with a talent for making puddings. Nargis says that Masterchef has already changed her life and she is very close to her dream of a restaurant.

Alex, 26

Freelance writer Alex is smiley and looks rather cherubic with a shock of blonde curly hair. He lists a family history of affinity with food- his great grandmother was a chef and his great uncle on his dad’s side a jam maker. His girlfriend Charlotte is supporting him.

The first of the semi-finals is screened Wednesday the 31st. The finalist start the show assembled around a table in, apparently, a big white house? Are they going further down the reality route and having them live together?

The first challenge for our six is cooking at Denman College for a culinary institution, the Women’s Institute (WI). Gregg and John, decked out in country casuals (I suspect John is actually wearing a cardigan?!) meet and greet them, and announce that they will be doing lunch for 20 of the WI’s board and trustees. For the three courses they are split into teams, Nargis with Tim on starter, Alex and Terry the main, and Stacie and Dhruv pudding.

Gregg tells Nargis and Tim he thinks they have the hardest task. Their dish is a twice baked cheese soufflé with two types of chutney, salad and pumpkin bread. Tim agrees and Nargis reveals that she is the leader as she is ‘good at bossing people about.’ The main is salmon and haddock fish cakes on warm beetroot and honeyed walnut salad with a poached egg and hollandaise sauce. Alex has already identified that there are lots of elements and the narrator India Fisher claims that the dish will require military precision to pull off successfully. Terry is on the salad and rather anxiously says he has never cooked for 20 before. Alex is prepping potatoes. Gregg, hands in pockets, saunters over to ask who’s in charge. He has a frown when told that neither of them is.

Stacie and Dhruv on the pud are making Claret Jelly with blackberry fool and ginger thins, Bakewell tart and Victoria sponge. Dhruv is a little worried but pleased that he will be challenged as puddings are his weakness. Stacie is very happy to be taking on some British classics. Somehow John has beaten off Gregg with a stick and approaches to ask what they are doing. They claim there is no boss between them but Stacie does appear to be barking out most of the orders.

Speaking clock Gregg is soon getting antsy as time moves on and he tells them they’ve had an hour. For the starter the bread is ready to bake and the chutney has just been started. Nargis’ mascara is all over her face as she is chopping some very strong onions. Voice of impending doom John says they must push as there is only an hour left. They switch to the soufflé.

On the main Alex and Terry are behind with their fish cakes. The salmon and Haddock are poached but the rest of the filling is still being made. John’s eyebrows leap into his hair when he sees only one small bowl of potato. He makes an example fish cake to show they don’t have enough. Alex gets on with more potatoes but in the confusion the walnuts have burned. With no time to remedy the charred mess which ‘looks like poo but taste OK’ according to Alex they will have to do. Gregg is asking Terry what is left to do while Terry tries hard to ignore him before admitting he hasn’t a clue. Terry then bolts off leaving Gregg staring pointedly at his watch. He tells John they are struggling. John says someone should be in control.

On desserts the jellies hit the fridge but the Bakewell tarts and Victoria sponge are still on the to-do list. Gregg continues to look at his watch and although Dhruv and Stacie say they are in control he is frantic that nothing is in the oven.

The WI members arrive upstairs. Somehow this task lacks the terror of cooking for Michelin starred chefs. Aga experts and chutney specialists don’t inspire the same sense of foreboding! They take their seats as the once baked soufflés are turned out, cheese and cream added, and returned to the oven.

John now also starts looking at his watch and shouts 'Go go'! Terry rushes over to see if he should help with the starter, but John immediately quashes his one for all and all for one approach by saying forget helping, he has to do his own course. Nargis puts out the salad and snaps at Tim as they plate up. Later she apologises and they hug and make up. Out it goes. The recipients of the meal say it’s delicious, gorgeous, but for some, the chutney is too strong and overpowers the soufflé.

Alex and Terry are next and John is already doing his white rabbit impression ‘You’re late, you’re late!’ They are going to be ten minutes behind. John tells them they must tell something and Alex sends word to the dining room. As they flap about Gregg is rubbing his head and John’s eyes look they are about to pop out of his head. Gregg concludes they have lost it and tells John he may need to help. John looks like has no intention of getting his hands dirty, but tries to hype the pair up over being late, as Alex works equally hard to calm Terry down. He does seem to have the highly strung temperament of a racehorse. After the last dish actually leaves the kitchen John leaps on them; ‘Do you think that’s good enough?’ When they say no he walks away from them saying ‘It’s not good enough, it’s not.” Oh dear, hopefully things are better upstairs. Sadly not- in the dining room the guests think the presentation is not up to scratch and some are missing walnuts while others point out that they are burned. Not entirely successful. Terry is unhappy with what they sent out and Alex says it was woeful but could have been worse, although if he heard that John would probably say ‘how?’

On desserts the jellies have set but Stacie says they would both be in it if the others weren’t late. The tarts are cooked. John looks unconvinced by their estimate of being ready about quarter past two. On seeing Stacie’s enormous Victoria sponge he also looks close to tears. Gregg comments that the cake is huge; if Gregg thinks a pudding is too big, it really must be. He asks how they will serve it. Stacie is threatening it with a large knife without being quite convinced enough to plunge in. Gregg resumes rubbing his skull. Both he and John stare at the enormous slices of Victoria sponge Stacie has finally cut in unconcealed horror. Stacie breezily calls it a ‘Mackem’ (Sunderland/North East) size portion and that they certainly won’t be hungry. She thought she did ok but needs to get more refined and Dhruv doubts anyone will want seconds. Off it goes. In the dining room the guests look slightly intimidated. ‘Ridiculous’, one says, ‘can I take some home in my napkin?’ It is though, very nice being light and fluffy, the Jelly lovely, Bakewell tart excellent. Great overall though sponge cage ‘huge’.

The cooks get a round of applause from the diners, but John thinks they struggled and most of the contestants are not too happy at how they did either. Gregg says they faced serious pressure and now are cooking for their competition place back in the kitchen.

Last time Matt and Mitra fell at the first hurdle. Now the remaining five all get a whole chicken to cook as they choose and show they can overcome their faults. John tells them to elevate the humble chicken to the most beautiful dish they have yet cooked in the competition, and announces the start of ‘the great chicken test’. They have one hour and 20 mins.

Tim is making chicken roulade with saffron potatoes and a sauce of pine nuts and walnuts with truffle honey. His description of the dish as arousing scares Gregg a little but seems to please John. A beehived Stacie is cooking poached chicken in a brandy cream sauce with girolles and broad beans ‘flashed’ through it. John thinks it sounds more refined than the judges expected. Terry says he would like to develop a more controlled cooking technique. He is stuffing chicken breasts with penny bun mushrooms and shallots, making a little pie and doing leeks with a Marsala sauce. Gregg is quick to remind him that his rabbit four-ways went badly, just to boost his confidence (!) and John tells him to stop as he has something to say to him. John says that he has a natural gift but needs to calm down and take his time to do himself justice.

Speaking clock Gregg tells all that they have had 40 minutes and are halfway. The judges ask Alex if he is happy to be back cooking alone (bit rude, hope Terry didn’t hear!), he replies with a polite smile that the episode taught him a lot. Alex is going to roast his breast off and serve with Porcini and Thyme risotto. Dhruv, in an attempt to show something different is not cooking with spices; he is doing ballottine of chicken stuffed with pork belly, tarragon and lemon zest with mashed potato, chanterelle mushrooms and cabbage with chestnuts and bacon. He says he’s left out the spicing to ensure the chicken is the star. Gregg and John discuss that he has made Spanish, Indian, and now classic French- they are prepared to be impressed if he gets it right.

As the clock continues to tick John wanders over to Dhruv’s bench and tells him the mash is no good, is lumpy. Dhruv begins to act. A salivating Gregg cries that the kitchen smells fantastic.

Nargis, according to John, looks tense. She is doing Thai Green chicken curry. John asks if it will be good enough. Nargis assures him the flavours are amazing, but John tells Gregg the curry will be fantastic or really boring. Gregg calls out that they only have six minutes- then ‘stop, stop!’- their time is up.

Tim is first with his chicken roulade with saffron potatoes and a sauce of pine nuts and walnuts with truffle honey. John says roulade is cooked perfectly; the flavour of the mushroom truffle and honey is a surprise. He likes it, some would find it weird. Gregg likes the texture of moist chicken and the flavour of the sauce is nice but different. Nothing he dislikes but he is not luxuriating in it as he has before with Tim’s dishes.

Nargis’ Thai chicken curry with rice is next. John says the taste is fantastic with thick sweetness, heat from chilli, salty from the sauce, sour from the lime, is very good. Gregg says she has front but it is very good.

Alex’s chicken breast with Porcini and Thyme risotto is a good looking dish according to John. He likes the rich sauce with the hint of Thyme, the perfectly roasted chicken with crispy skin and overall it’s delicious. Gregg gets very excited; hmmm, yeah, that’s lovely, and probably should get a room with the dish. He says the rice is perfect, the chicken moist, it’s great.

Terry’s stuffed chicken breasts with penny bun mushrooms and shallots, pie and leeks with a Marsala sauce follows Alex. Greggs says there are big pluses and minuses. Loves the chicken and the sauce, needs more seasoning in potato, chicken in pie is a bit hard. John is pleased he got it all on the plate, chicken is beautifully cooked with mushrooms and sweet sauce, but pie is chewy and hard. He says Terry knows he has a gift but must learn when to leave alone.

They move onto Stacie’s poached chicken in a brandy cream sauce with girolles and broad beans. Gregg says it looks beautiful and professional. The meat is beautiful, seasoned chicken, but he doesn’t like the sauce. John thinks the poached chicken is lovely and soft, the apples work but are risky and the sauce is a bit powerful for the subtle chicken. It’s also not thick enough.

Finally Dhruv is disappointed in his ballottine of chicken stuffed with pork belly, tarragon and lemon zest, served with mashed potato, chanterelle mushrooms and cabbage with chestnuts and bacon. Gregg thinks it looks good, the chicken is soft, meaty, but there’s too much salt in the cabbage. John thinks the dish works well, but the potato is lumpy, could be improved but is pretty good overall. They think he is giving himself a really hard time as they don’t hate it as much as he does. Dhruv looks boot-faced. He feels the judges have to love the dishes at this stage.

Gregg and John have their chat. They feel Alex did well, Tim took a risk which John liked more than Gregg, Nargis’ dish tasted great but Gregg wonders if she did enough, Stacie’s chicken was good although Gregg hated the sauce, Terry aimed high but his pie let him down and they think he’s taking too much on, and Dhruv sets himself very high standards.

They know they must be brutal. In the end, they eliminate Terry. Terry is distraught and walks straight out throwing down his apron, he is practically in tears outside as he felt he could win. John wraps up unnecessarily by saying that leaves five of them.

The story continues on Thursday the 1st of April. The five semi finalists are thrown a lifeline- each has weaknesses and strengths. Today they are sent to restaurants for master classes that will help to work on their weaknesses. They have one chance to show they can overcome them.

First up, Nargis. Her dishes make the judges smile but her big bowls of food are not going to get much further, she must gain some technical ability. She has been sent to El Pirata De Tapas, a restaurant where they serve complex, elegant plates. She meets head chef Omar Allibhoy, who seems like a nice chap rather than a megalomaniac. Nargis is taught the wood pigeon tapas, including making a roulade. The chef is encouraging and Nargis manages to make the dish. Her confidence is rising and she admits the chef is hot!

Alex is a gifted modern cook making elegant and complicated food, but his flavours can be a little too subtle. He goes to Thai restaurant Yum Yum where they do flavoursome food. The chef Arique Choudhury explains the important of balancing flavours. Alex is put to work on the Papaya salad, which has 12 ingredients. Alex must rely on his palate to get the right combination. He thinks it will be hard. The chef is politely shouting for his salad, and Alex struggles, first not enough Chilli, then not enough lime. Alex understands the need to keep tasting and eventually gets it just right.

Stacie delivers big bold flavours but piles plates big and high, she needs to learn refinement, something she admits herself. She is sent to One O One, a fine dining restaurant. The chef, Pascal Proyart will show her the signature dish of halibut. He shows how carefully designed it is and sketches it for her on a plate. She has a go and the chef is pleased. She did well.

Dhruv has plenty of ability but the basics can let him down. He goes to Belgo Centraal to learn attention to detail. The restaurant specialises in Belgian Cuisine. He works with Chef Muir Picken on the traditional Waterzooi, focusing on little elements like not overcooking the chicken and monitoring the flavours. Every element must be right. At the end the chef feels Dhruv handled himself well and Dhruv feels positive.

Tim is a serious cook, skilled and able to use complex techniques, needs to learn that dishes don’t always need to be technical, beautiful food can be simple. He visits Marco Pierre White’s Italian restaurant Luciano’s. Chef Marco Corsica teaches him the Spaghetti Lobster dish, which only has a few ingredients. He uses everything in the lobster to get the flavour. Tim is surprised as he thought professional kitchens had to be more complicated. It’s not necessary to fiddle, fiddle, fiddle, it’s like an epiphany!

The contestants go back to Masterchef HQ to prove they deserve to stay in the competition. They are all given a set of ingredients to use to create a dish; 8 types of fish and meat, and a range of fruits, vegetables and herbs. John has taken over as speaking clock and is barking out the countdown. Greg gives the final three minute warning.

Alex has made Thai red prawn and aubergine curry and rice. It must be packed with flavour. Gregg sadly tells him the aubergine is not cooked enough and Alex grimaces. But he says it’s very good and prawns are well cooked. John thinks it’s sweet, sour, salty and hot, the four notes needed from Thai food. He agrees Aubergines are not cooked and tells Alex to taste his whole dish more often.

Stacie has made red mullet, braised baby fennel, red pepper puree, pea puree and onion and pepper sauce. John tells her her fish is beautifully cooked, but he can only taste the fish, onion and pepper. Gregg thinks the sauces are cancelling each other out.

Tim’s dish is pan fried red mullet with ratatouille. John thinks it tastes great, the fish perfect and the ratatouille sweet. It’s uncomplicated but delivers. Gregg thinks it’s lovely. Tim found it freeing not be frying, rolling, poaching etc. and enjoyed not having the constraints of fussiness.

Dhruv offers red mullet, prawns, lentils, parsnip and hazelnut puree. John thinks it’s all cooked beautifully and well seasoned, but parsnip with fish and prawn doesn’t work. Gregg doesn’t like it.

Nargis has cooked red mullet with caramelised hazelnuts on braised cabbage with onion puree and tomato dill sauce. John likes the tomato sauce but the fish is over cooked, the cabbage over cooked and the hazelnuts don’t work. Gregg only asks why the hazelnuts are there! Nargis admits she went overboard.

John and Gregg have a discussion. They then eliminate Nargis. Dhruv breathes a huge sigh of relief. Nargis says in her heart she knew it would be her. She goes outside crying and says she is deflated and devastated.

The remaining four are thrilled. Dhruv thought he was going to be the one who was out. They are now going to be cooking at The Tower of London.

John and Gregg looking gangsterish in dark suits, meet them there. They warn them that the place has a reputation for excellent food. The contestants are cooking their own food for 12 people. They have no chef with them. They have four hours to prepare a banquet for the chairman of the Historic Royal Palaces Charity and 11 of its biggest supporters. The main problem with cooking in a 1,000 year old palace is that they cook at one side and the dining room is at the other, up and down some flights of steps. They must carry the food in a trolley, which John introduces them to.

Tim is doing the starter of celeriac soup with pan-fried curried scallops and homemade wholemeal rolls. John emphasises that as the starter he must be on time. Tim worries about how long to cook the scallops before transporting them across the courtyard. Stacie does the fish course of Dover sole with pea and broad bean stew, breaded quail’s egg and tartare sauce. She must fillet fish, peel eggs and make mayonnaise, among other things. Gregg is worried she has loads of components to complete.

Alex’s main is braised pig cheeks with mashed potatoes, spinach and hawthorn berry sauce topped with deep-fried pig’s ear. Gregg worries what the guests will make of it. Dhruv is making the dessert of layered strawberry and champagne jelly with clotted cream ice cream, whipped cream and Grand Marnier, and shortbread biscuits. John laughs at the thought of him trying to get that safely over the courtyard- he is expecting trifle!

As time presses on John tells them that at least two of them should come and see where they will be serving. Alex and Tim go to look. John says that one person dragging the trolley over won’t work, there will need to be two of them. He shows them the 20 minute trip from kitchen to dining room. The food must be sealed into containers to prevent spillage.

At 6.30 the guests come and John tells them there are 30 minutes to go. Tim knows the scallops will keep cooking as he transports them so he will slightly undercook them. Alex is meant to be Tim’s back up but he’s hit trouble as he does not have enough mashed potato. He’s sent out for more potatoes but still has to prep them. Dhruv steps up to do the newly arrived potatoes while Alex and Tim guide the starter in a trolley over the cobblestones. They arrive panting, at which point the maitre’d points out that there are rolls but no butter. Tim forgot it, and must run back and fetch it. He plates up just in time.

The guests think the dish is excellent, though the scallops could be more tender, and the consistency is a bit thick, more like a broth. They all enjoy it though.

Stacie is still deep frying breaded quail’s eggs, but her tartare sauce is nearly ready. The fish will continue to cook in the trolley so Stacie is undercooking it. Dhruv, lining up to help transport the food discovers that the hot box is broken and they will need to wrap the whole thing in cling film. They are worried about how long it will take to unwrap it at the other end and how much more the fish will cook. John begins to wave his hands and pace, so they pack up and leave. They appear to be lost, but manage to find their way to the dining room. Thankfully all the food including the sauce survived the journey intact. Stacie plates up very fast- Gregg is impressed.

The guests feel the dish is well presented, the tomato sauce is good and they would have liked another quail’s egg. The fish was perfect, a superb course overall.

Alex is up with his main. The potato crisis is behind him and Tim comes to help. Alex worries that the pig’s ears will go soggy if they are not served immediately after frying, so he asks Dhruv to start frying them a few minutes after he is gone with the rest of the food. Dhruv steps up and Alex and Tim make a second trip over the courtyard. Alex starts plating on arrival while Tim runs back yet again and collects the fried pig’s ear. Once all together the plates go out.

The guests enjoy the cheek sauce and spinach. Several did not like the ear as gristly and one would probably have eaten it if they had not known it was an ear!

Dhruv goes in to complete the meal. He and Stacie head over and start plating. The jellies won’t come out of their moulds so Stacie tells him to warm them with his hands to cook them a little. Tim appears and all three start cupping jelly moulds. Finally they begin to drop out. The guests love the shortbread, the jelly is exceptional and the ice-cream some of the best they have had.

All the chefs get a round of applause from the diners at the close of service. Gregg is proud of them and feels it will be hard to separate them from a judging point of view.

The week’s final episode is broadcast on Friday the 2nd of April. Tim, Alex, Dhruv and Stacie will be cooking for 3 food critics. They will present their own two courses to some of the most fastidious and ferocious critics in the country, and at the end, one will go home. They all have an hour and 30 minutes to cook in. The critics will be critiquing the food as if it were cooked by professionals.

Alex, who would like to have a little restaurant, is making roasted lamb rump with lamb sweetbreads, spiced cous cous and glazed carrots, followed by chocolate pots with coffee espume and vanilla shortbread. He admits he is feeling the pressure. The judges say the food must taste as good as it looks. Stacie wants to show the critics that home cooking can be restaurant standard and give the critics a taste of the North East. She is serving pork on a bean stew. The dessert will be Gin and Tonic jelly with lemon sorbet, white chocolate mousse and a biscuit. Gregg is worried about her presentation. Dhruv dreams of a restaurant for his family. He is making pan fried scallops on a puree of pistachio and spiced apple, and duck with parsnip puree. John says he needs the apple’s sweet and sourness to be right for the scallop. Tim would be devastated to go home. He is doing Pork tenderloin and confit potato with apples cooked in calvados and green beans. Then he is making a bitter almond and lemon cream with amaretti biscuits. He admits it is not as technical as he has done in the past, is more about the ingredients. John is concerned that the critics will have had Tim’s meal a thousand times and he does not know what will make his special.

The critics are Kate Spicer, a lifestyle journalist who writes for the Times and the Evening Standard. She says she expects restaurant standard food and is brutal when judging. She is joined by Charles Campion, AKA Peter Griffin from Family Guy, a food critic for the London Evening Standard, who likes it simple and can be irritated by fussy presentation, and Jay Rayner, a restaurant critic for The Observer, who is expecting serious skill.

Alex is first. John gives him the three minute warning, but he is plating fast. The first course of the lamb goes out. Charles smells it first, and then says it’s nicely cooked, the cous cous is excellent, but the date puree is a little too sweet. Jay likes the date puree but feels the sweetbreads are underdone. Kate agrees, she like sweetbreads, but the way they have been served she feels they look like what they are; entrails.

John and Gregg have their taste in the kitchen, and John says; ‘His food has flavour! Yippee!’ Result there then!

John tells Alex he has nine minutes to go, but Alex will be ready on time with his chocolate pots. Gregg has his taste and likes the flavour, but points out they are not firm underneath. Charles likes it, says is very nice. Kate says it has a lovely creamy flavour she did not expect. Jay comments that if they are looking for a combination of technique and good taste, that they have it in this dessert, it shows lots of skill. Charles calls it delicious and points out he has eaten the lot.

Alex, his task over, goes through the back. He says he is knackered and has no idea how he’s done.

Meanwhile attention switches to Stacie. Gregg is asking what’s left to do. She tells him and admits she is running four minutes late. She is soon plating up her pork loin and it goes out.

Jay immediately cries ‘Where’s my five year old? It’s a smiley face on a plate!’ Kate says it’s ludicrous. Jay adds that putting outside the plating up it lacks a kind of liquor to get the dish moving, and it might work with that. Kate thinks the combination of ingredients is good.

John is counting Stacie down on her pudding. There is a slight Jelly issue when it won’t come out at first, but she recovers from that, only to discover that her white chocolate mousse is not set. It must go out anyway.

Kate has one taste and cries ‘oh god, the jelly!’ she says pure gin isn’t fun at the best of times, and that if you could take out some of the gin and put tonic in it would be quite nice. Jay is gurning as he struggles through the bitter jelly and says the redeeming feature of the dessert is the lemon sorbet which takes the flavour of everything else away. Charles thinks that it’s one of the least attractively textured puddings he’s ever come across. In his tasting, John says he can’t taste the white chocolate mousse and does not want to; saying the idea of someone pouring cream in his gin and tonic is urgh! Stacie admits it was a disaster and she is gutted.

Dhruv is plating his scallops and tells John he is losing confidence, but he seems to be on time. The scallops head out. Kate thinks the plate looks beautiful and she loves the pistachio colour. Jay says he has not dishonoured the scallops and Charles thinks that the scallops with the pistachio and apple puree would have been enough. The chef has tried too hard, but done well. The only thing Kate did not like was the texture of the puree; it was a well balanced dish. John and Gregg have a taste and John says that it is perfectly cooked and seasoned. Gregg would happily eat the lot. Back in his kitchen Dhruv has found the odd feather still in his duck and is trying to decide whether to take the skin off altogether. He starts to get flustered but John calms him down. The braised duck goes to the critics. Jay finds the duck flavoursome and tender. Charles thinks the nicest thing Dhruv has done is the crunchy, irony greens in a little liquor. Jay suddenly announces that the dish was tasty until he got to the puree and Charles agrees saying that it has a ring of coconut pudding to it. Kate is mystified, she says the chef has a balanced flavours well in the essential parts of the dish and clearly has a good palate, how could he have made such a mistake with the puree? Unphased, John and Gregg adore it, John saying it looks lovely and eats better than it looks.

Tim is last and thinks everything is going to plan. He serves his pork, with confit potato topped with apples from his garden. Kate thinks using his own apples is exciting. Jay says that the pork is accurately cooked, the sauce is quite nice, but he is not in love with the dish. Charles is unimpressed with the confit potato, saying it just looks like a funny shaped roast potato. Jay feels the dish has been cooked by someone who is trying not to take risks, and Charles agrees that it is too straightforward. Tim has his dessert plated in plenty of time and John wonders if he has done enough. Tim just thinks he got a lot done in the time. The Tiramisu style bitter almond and Lemon pudding goes out. Charles starts but immediately says he will not be able to finish as it screams sweetness and solidity. Jay thinks it leans towards being a trifle without the bells and whistles, and Kate comments that it displays a lot of the same qualities as his main; safe and monotonous. Gregg and John try it. Gregg says it is just a bowl of cream flavoured with booze at the end of the day.

John and Gregg discuss the competitors. Dhruv had the best food today, got himself flustered but pulled himself together. Alex proved he could do flavoursome food, the chocolate pots were a great idea with a fantastic flavour but didn’t set. Tim didn’t serve up the best food he has in the competition. He had no real issues but they wonder if he really went for it. He didn’t do anything new or exciting and the lemon cream with biscuits demonstrated nothing in terms of skill. Stacie had a disappointing day. It was brave to do pork, black pudding and beans for the critics and the dish was flavoursome but the meat a bit hard. The dish may have been too big and heavy and the dessert just did not work. They do note that she put in a lot of work, and suggest she tried very hard, perhaps too hard.

The judges call the semi-finalists in to give their verdict. Gregg tells them they should all be proud and that the decision was difficult as they had all been phenomenal at times.

First finalist is Alex, who walks to the other side of the room and starts opening and shutting his mouth like a stranded fish. He is joined by Dhruv, and finally, by Tim.

Stacie takes her elimination very well and tells camera that she knows she messed up. She is gutted but won’t give up.

The final three get to smile, relax a little, and drink some champagne with John and Gregg.
Week commencing 5th of April the champion will be crowned!

A Model Menu; The Delicious Miss Dahl

For more information on this show, and links to all the recipes visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00rs7c9

I’m sure I’m not the only person to be somewhat cynical about a super-model fronting a cookery show, especially one extolling the virtues of indulgent comfort foods to suit your every mood. It’s a bit like a monk fronting a good sex guide or a butcher hosting a show about the world’s best vegetarian meals. And Sophie Dahl is also quite possibly one of the most ironic choices that could ever be made. I remember vividly the hype that greeted her rise to fame in the early 1990s, as a ‘plus-model’, being about a size 14-16. There was a great deal of debate, even a public outcry, when she slimmed down to a size 10 at the end of the decade. I also seem to recall a few pictures of her looking gaunt and far too slender being bandied about. So perhaps for a few viewers there is some suspension of disbelief required for this show?

That said, The Delicious Miss Dahl (Tuesday, 8.30 pm, BBC 2) is soothing evening viewing and Sophie manages to appear friendly, down to earth and approachable in front of the camera. She’s quite a surreal looking person with those enormous eyes and doll-like face, though undeniably pretty, and her slightly husky voice (she sounds like she smokes, and she does) is almost hypnotic. There are definitely shades of Nigella Lawson here, although Sophie has strenuously denied any intention to take her crown. The programme is all about relating food to different moods and feelings, an approach I quite like, and the main reason I’ve been watching. Tonight’s theme (broadcast 30/03/10) is Romance, as she believes we express love through food. She will be therefore provide different recipes for each of the three stages of romance.

To start, she acknowledges that in the very first flush of love people don’t tend eat much, they pick, but she says that when a date is coming over for supper for the first time, it’s ideal to cook something that looks like it took effort but actually was simple. She recommends scallops roasted in their own shells, with garlic and chilli marinade served with crushed, minty peas, and a glorious mountain of rhubarb and rosewater Eton mess sprinkled with crystallised rose petals for pudding. As she gets down to cooking the camera crew have some fun with plenty of arty shots of the kitchen and the food itself. Once the meal is complete there are even more arty shots, accompanied by a poetry reading. Sophie completes section one by describing the romance of train stations, something which millions of commuters who have waited for their own delayed transport to work on rather too many wet Monday mornings are unlikely to appreciate anymore.

The next stage is the honeymoon phase, which, according to Miss Dahl, revolves around all day, or at least lazy and relaxed, breakfasts. Her recipe is cheese soufflé blinis with scrambled eggs and smoked salmon. As she cooks she confesses some of her own idiosyncrasies, such as an obsessive approach to tidiness. Apparently her poor boyfriend has been incorporated into her making the bed if he hasn’t got up in time. Phase two of romance winds down with more showing off by the camera crew, presenting some city shots, followed by scenes of Sophie strolling in a graveyard. She says she finds graveyards romantic, and relates the tragic story of Beatrix Potter’s lost love in front of his headstone. Hmmm, I’m personally unconvinced. I managed to see Stephen King’s Pet Sematary when I was 11, and ever since, graveyards have creeped me out.

The final evolutionary stage for a romantic relationship is the 'cosy-on-the-sofa' stage, when you can be yourself and eat loads in front of each other. This is the point at which we normal folk tend to balloon up as the takeaways make regular appearances. Of course despite being recently married, svelte Sophie has managed to dodge that bullet. She now makes a TV dinner of individual shepherd's pies for herself as a veggie and her carnivorous partner. Once the meals are finished she cannot wait and dives into her own, concealing her impatience by forking mashed potato back over the tell-tale hole. In that soothing voice she contentedly concludes that the story of food and romance only carries on.

Next week we are in for some foodie Nostalgia. Fingers crossed for some gooey homely treats!

Ramsays Hell's Kitchen USA, Ridiculous but Utterly Brilliant

Here’s a slightly embarrassing confession. I am totally addicted to Hell’s Kitchen USA (ITV2, Mondays). Honestly, it’s so completely OTT it’s brilliant. It’s a completely mad show where nothing makes much sense and the amateur dramatics are hilarious- Ramsay in particular is nothing but a caricature of himself- but it’s unmissable. I watched the English hell’s kitchen and honestly, think this is much better.

We’re well behind the US, where the result is already ancient history I presume, here in the UK and I have had to be so careful not to stumble over the result, so if anyone does comment on this post, I’ll not be looking at it for a few weeks yet. For us Brits, last week, short fused Van left, which was a pity for those among us who hoped he might lose it and lamp Ramsay before he said his goodbyes, as he walked with a whimper rather than a bang.

Now we’re down to finalists Ariel, Dave, Kevin, Suzanne and Tenille. Suzanne has more lives than a cat and has been up for elimination on no less than three occasions. Ariel, previously one of chef’s favourites, has recently been on the downward spiral. Poor Dave has one arm as his wrist is in plaster- he is also quite possibly the least charismatic man on the planet. His voice could put hyperactive kids to sleep- his announcement that he ‘is dangerous in this game’ at the start of the show had me in stitches. I’ve seen puppies look more threatening- to say nothing of his unfortunate penchant for dodgy beanie hats. Tenille is the loud (and unintentionally hilarious) one (above, left of picture facing up to Ramsay), and Kevin the cocky, confident one, and at this moment, I’d guess he’s probably the favourite to win the whole thing.

This week’s show kicks off with a spat between Dave and Tenille over her last minute change of heart about the nominations. Suzanne and Ariel were the original nominees as agreed by their better-peforming counterparts, but when questioned by Ramsay Tenille suggested that Van was the worst chef, and as she put him in the firing line it was Van who walked. Dave has a good whinge at Tenille, then goes upstairs and throws his jacket about in a temper, much to Kevin’s delight.

Suzanne and Ariel commiserate about their poor performances over a cigarette. How many of these people smoke, I don’t think I know of any that I have not seen puffing on a fag?! I always thought cigarettes could have a negative effect on your taste buds. Maybe that explains the constant cock-ups!

The days challenge, announced by Gordon Ramsay who gesticulates wildly as he explains, is cooking good-looking food as an individual, so a challenge where the focus is presentation. Helping Gordon to judge are the staff and editor of Bon appétit magazine. The contestants are suitably impressed.

The objective is to make one ‘stunning dish’. The top 2 will be picked out and tasted by Gordon and magazine editor Barbara, with the best tasting one winning.

The final five set to work creating a visually stunning and delicious dish. Kevin opts for Caribbean Sea bass with Orange and Papaya, Suzanne for Calamari salad, Dave for rack of lamb with potatoes and Ariel for Bruschutto wrapped John Dory. Suzanne’s effort gets a private slating from Dave to camera. Tenille cooks an Asian-inspired red snapper, but breaks her fish on the way out of the pan. Oh sh**! She bellows, and in desperation throws her other ingredients over the broken fillet.

The dishes are all up on time and the judges move in. The contestants do a good job explaining their dishes- except for Dave, who stumbles over the description of his presentation (this is a pan seared yellow ummm... a red and yellow ummm.... ) then admits to camera that he doesn’t speak well in front of crowds later in private. Not that he does any better describing what he made in private (my dish is Colorado rack of lamb with rainbow.... the name of my dish is...)!

The scores for presentation from the judges are revealed by Gordon. Tenille is 5th, as it looked like garbage according to Dave, Suzanne is 4th, much to her disgust (my dish was a piece of art, whatever!), Dave is 3rd, Kevin gets the highest scoring and is 1st (of course I am, he quips to camera) and Ariel is 2nd. Ariel and Kevin bring up their dishes for tasting by Barbara and Gordon. They are tasked with identifying the best tasting of the top two, but neither can split them, so both are pronounced the winners.

Kevin and Ariel will head off for a Bon Appetit photo shoot with Barbara and their recipes will be featured in the magazine and available in Hell’s Kitchen that night. The losers, on the other hand, are told that Hell’s Kitchen has adopted a street and they will be going to clean it up in a form of community service, then tidy HK for the evening. An appalled Dave has a good gripe about spending the day with Tenille and having to listen to her bitch, as the three get into jump suits.

Tenille is typically vocal about her punishment, saying ‘Did we commit a crime in not winning today’s challenge? I’m not a convict and I can’t stand looking like I just got out of LA county!’ Ariel and Kevin begin to enjoy their reward at beautiful hotel Shutters on the beach, while their competitors start cleaning up the hillside.

Dave’s back is up as ‘Tenille keeps saying ‘This just ain’t right’’, which, evidenced by the footage, she does indeed. Tenille tells the camera that the punishment was horrible and she will never commit a crime as this is ‘wrong on so many levels’. Kevin and Ariel continue to enjoy their photo shoot; Kevin feels it is a taste of how it would be to win the whole thing, Ariel that it is one of the best rewards ever.

The three losers come back to HK to sweep up and clean. Ariel and Kevin return to the venue and walk all over Tenille’s newly steamed carpet, much to her chagrin. ‘I just cleaned that man, I just cleaned that, this is Bullsh*t!’ Dave is not having any more luck as use of the brush causes his wrist to swell up and he retires to his bed with it wrapped in ice. Friendly-faced assassin Kevin arrives to ask how he is doing and suggest that he really considers what is best for him. To camera, Kevin admits that Dave is a threat to him winning and he wants him to leave. Dave is noncommittal in their exchange and later to camera he says he knows that everyone is hoping to see him go home, that his broken wrist will put him out.

That evening the gang are back to prepping for the fully booked dinner service. Dave’s one handed limitations are starting to annoy Kevin. He states he needs to take charge, it’s his time to shine and begins to prowl the kitchen barking commands and annoying his rivals. Ariel says he is really patronising, and that he is telling everyone what to do.

Gordon prowls into the kitchen and gives his pep talk, which no one should bother listening to as we all know he’ll find some excuse to lose his rag later. Despite that Tenille jumps on the positivity bandwagon saying ‘Yeah, chef is pumped, let’s do this!’ So a pretty upbeat service begins.

The menu will feature classic dishes and Ariel and Kevin’s dishes of Sea Bass and John Dory. The first order is in and Gordon gabbles out the order (I swear he deliberately speaks as vaguely as possible when he reads these tickets out). Dave, Tenille and Suzanne come under pressure first. Dave asks if there is anything new to come off his station. Tenille tells him no and mutters that he is a f***ing idiot. Never one to miss brewing conflict that he has not personally sparked, Gordon dives in shouting that he does not care if his team don’t love each other, as long as they give attention to detail and work as a team. Dave tells camera that he hates Tenille but won’t bring conflict onto the kitchen floor. Suzanne says her scallops are not ready because no one told her to get ready, blaming Tenille. Gordon snaps for the first time, saying they must talk to each other, then gibbers his way through another order.

Tenille gets to work on ris-O-to (can’t get used to this American pronunciation of risotto!) and Suzanne starts scallops for this new table. Ariel tells Tenille the Ris- O- to is over cooked, but she says it is fine and takes it to the pass. Gordon is immediately on the case, bellowing that it’s sh*t and the next needs to be perfect. Tenille gets right on it, and later, displaying great intuition, tells the camera ‘I’m not going to argue with you, I don’t even want to look at you funny or you’ll think I’m giving you attitude’.

Suzanne now has to bring up the scallops and on seeing them, Gordon says the team are killing him as one is caked in cr*p. Suzanne gets onto a new lot and Tenille gets hassled for her ris-o-to. Now Dave’s up. The food he has made actually gets out of the kitchen. Tenille’s ris-O-to attempt 2 arrives and it’s no good. The chefs are perplexed and so is she, being the ‘risotto wizard’. Ramsay asks who cooked the rice. Kevin owns up and it transpires that the rice is overcooked. Dave states it was Kevin’s error but Tenille should have noticed how bad the risotto was.
Ariel offers to make more rice but then finds a batch that is ok. Ramsay screams about why are they using the sh*t stuff and why it was put out for Tenille to use. Tenille admits they both should have known better and look like idiots. Gordon starts his risotto related rant about how badly they are all doing and starts chucking items around. He zeroes in on Kevin like an exocet missile and demands to know why he did what he did, not that Kevin can get in a word in his own defence. There are no right answers when Gordon’s off on one Kevin, surely you know that by now?!

When the next ris-O-to arrives Gordon leaps up a height and screams for Tenille and Kevin, but it’s a bluff, this time it’s perfect and Kevin is relieved. Appetisers are flying out of the kitchen and it’s time for entrees. Ariel brings four chicken up the pass, followed by Kevin’s garnish. Trouble is indicated by Ramsay screaming ‘STOP!’. ‘Overcooked rice and now pink chicken!’ ‘RAW’ he bellows like a a maniac, ‘I don’t serve Pink chicken!’ Ariel is frustrated at disappointing chef. Kevin crows to camera- ‘it’s chicken and lamb, it’s like the easiest station, that’s all you got to do, and now I get hosed on garnish! I though Ariel was better than that’. The next chicken is ok and makes it out. Now it’s Kevin and Suzanne up with the fish dish. Gordon claims this will be fine as there’s no f***ing meat, but then looks at Suzanne’s offering. It’s raw. Gordon shouts and swears and chucks a towel about as Kevin groans. Gordon says there is hotter fish than this in a sushi bar, and then chucks it hard on the floor splattering everywhere- a health and safety issue surely! Kevin tells camera that the girls just can’t cook, and back in the kitchen can’t help chucking in a snipe at Suzanne, telling her to get it together. Gordon practically sobs at her you baste it, you baste it, and is later seen to be muttering to himself, deranged murderer style that this is ‘not possible’. Kevin, in irritating Mini-me mode, chimes in ‘keep basting that thing.’ Suzanne admits she is not proud of her performance. Gordon screams that they are inconsistent and Suzanne makes grovelling apologies that appear to be falling on deaf ears.

Service is still dragging and Dave tells the camera that it has been disastrous. Gordon shouts that they are taking into it in turns to be useless and need to pick it up. Another order is read out at double quick time and Ariel is up with the lamb. To Gordon’s unconcealed horror it’s ‘raggedy’. He has a good yell at Ariel, first in front of the others (Kevin enjoys that) then dragging her out into the dining room to demand if she would send it in Araxi whistler, the restaurant where the winner will take up a post. Ariel is embarrassed. Kevin attempts to urge the others on and Gordon storms in asking Kevin if he wonders why he is going doo lally. Gordon, swearing freely now, demands all the cooks gather round. Tenille tells the camera he has been screaming his head off all night and she is scared sh**less. He says he won’t send one meal at a time and they need to get it together or f*** off. The meals continue to come up. Gordon sighs and mutters over how long the last table is taking.

Finally dinner service is over and Chef Ramsay looks pretty p**sed. He puts his head in hands, then, apparently extremely annoyed, gives his closing speech. He says it was one of the worst services for a long time and that the whole thing was like watching ‘a giant soufflé collapse’. He tells them that they did not come together as a team, but they need to now, to choose two people for nomination.

As the tired gang troop wearily backstage Dave says ‘there is no best of the worst tonight. We sucked. Anyone could go.’ Suzanne wants to nominate Ariel and Tenille – Tenille does not take this lying down and argues. Tenille says she had a better service than Suzanne, but Suzanne thinks she had a good service. Kevin to camera, says ‘Raw fish? Suzanne should be up for elimination’. Ariel wants to nominate Tenille and Kevin. The conversation ends here and we won’t find out who’s up until Gordon does.

When Gordon asks for the decision from Kevin the nominees are Ariel for inconsistency and raw meat and Suzanne for her raw fish and overcooked scallops, and the fact that she thinks she had a good service despite that. Gordon asks both why they should stay. Suzanne, on her 4th nomination, claims she was focused on technique and high standard of food, but Gordon tells her despite her claims she accomplished nothing. Suzanne says she thinks she is a better chef than Ariel. Gordon tells Ariel that she is just getting worse and why should she stay? Ariel says she knows she made mistakes but believes she is the better chef, wants this badly and wants to show that.

He then says they should both go, but in the end, it’s Suzanne who gets the bullet. He tells her that he has given her so many chances but that she has not been at her best in the last 3/4 services and it will only get harder. Suzanne tells the camera that she has learned a lot about herself through this experience and her strengths and weaknesses, including the flaw of creating distance between herself and her team mates. She says everyone is probably happy she is gone.

Ramsay warns Tenille that she was very close to being up for elimination and Tenille herself admits she had to ‘do the matrix’ to avoid the bullet- it was that close. He tells the final four that they must bounce back. Tomorrow the play offs begin. Ariel is disappointed with her performance, Kevin thinks his competitors are on the way out and he has been Mr consistency, Dave says it will get ugly and that the best chef should win.

The preview says life will get harder and implies that Dave will be really struggling with his knackered arm. Kevin wants rid of him. There are also two ‘shocking surprises’. Roll on next week!

Come Whine With Me?

For recipes and more information on this show visit: http://www.channel4.com/food/on-tv/come-dine-with-me/series-9/cheltenham-gloucester/

This week’s new ‘Come dine with me’ (shown Sunday28th March and set in Cheltenham) featured some nightmarish dinner party guests. In fairness to them there are rumours that the editing on these shows can be grossly unfair to participants, but surely someone must have been working overtime to make some of these people seem this appalling? If you’re reading this you guys, and you aren’t really like you were portrayed, you seriously want to sue.

Lets meet our four victims er, contestants. First up, Janice (right of picture) the ‘straight talking’ cleaner. I have to admit, if I am watching any reality show and someone is introduced as straight talking, I can’t help it, I instantly think they’re going to be a prat. Straight talking seems code for I don’t care who I p*** off or upset, as long as I get to say what I want. Janice expresses her dislike for people who think ‘they are better than others’.

Cut to enormous country estate, home of ‘lady of the manor’ and ‘dog show enthusiast’ Vanessa (second from left of pic) complete with a hairy set of what Eddie Izzard could only describe as ‘small yappy-type dogs’. Hmm, could be an issue here! Vanessa expresses her concern over her guests getting drunk and raucous and making a mess.

Next up, pale poker faced bloke Alex (left of piccie), sales director and ‘Material boy’, who instantly appears about as cheerful as a wet Monday morning in November. Summarises his life philosophy- it’s all about being successful apparently. When presented with the first menu he remarks that he will ‘be looking for a sick bag, probably’. What a thoroughly lovely man!

Finally it’s blonde Cathy/aka Patsy, her nickname, (second from right of picture) socialite and ‘glamour puss’. I already worry that the apparently obnoxious Alex is heading for a pasting, possibly with an artificial limb. Cathy/Patsy wears a false arm.

Day 1 at Janice’s house and her menu starts with a crayfish and chorizo salad, followed by Amaretto chicken and steamed vegetables, and dessert of Pavlova with vanilla cream. As she cooks she reveals a scary Johnny Wilkinson obsession and glibly considers ‘chinning’ critical guests.

On the night Alex is first in followed by Vanessa. They immediately look terrified of each other. During the first stilted conversational exchange Vanessa and Janice play top trumps with their pets, with Janice’s three dogs decidedly outdone by Vanessa’s four canine companions and 5 equine ones.

As the last guest, Cathy/Patsy, heck with it, Catsy, arrives one of Janice’s dogs is making his feelings about party exclusion felt by threatening to break down a door. Electing to save her interior Janice announces that she will let the dog in if that is ok, and all acquiesce. Alex’s comments that he ‘can’t wait to meet the dog’ in the same tone that one might use to say ‘I can’t wait to stick shards of glass in my own eyes’. He goes on to make the further inflammatory statement that his female co-competitors have exhibited false behaviour in gushing all over each other’s hair makeup and dresses. Hmmm- what a ray of sunshine he is, or maybe he really doesn’t understand women at all. Janice’s hackles are already rising as she notes his regularly lifted eyebrows.

The food gets a lukewarm reception, starter barely ok, main had mix of overcooked and undercooked veg, but the dessert is more positively received. Alex, clearly not sweet enough, has second helpings of the sugar laden Pavlova dessert. Despite this he has lived up to initial impressions by being pretty sarcastic and negative. I also can’t help thinking that Catsy may already be irritating more sensitive viewers with her exuberance and her ‘sweetie-darling’ statements.

End of the night scores:

Alex, despite his second helpings, only 4, Vanessa 6, Catsy 7, total 17

Vanessa has day 2, and immediately announces that she doesn’t want mess and has asked everyone to bring and wear slippers. A touch cheeky surely? Catsy has a good frown over that one, not keen on the prospect of being parted from her pretty shoes. The menu is smoked salmon and horseradish cream tartlets for starters, roast fillet steak with gruyere bake for main, and Vanessa’s Victorian bombe as dessert. Janice recoils in horror at the dessert named after the host- sign of someone thinking they are better than others perhaps?

Vanessa uses ready-made pastry in her starter and makes the astonishing claim of effectively being a human meat thermometer and that she can just tell when meat is done correctly. We’ll soon see how accurate a claim this is!

Arrivals in order- Janice first, ushered into her pink bootees, Catsy who manages to wangle retaining her sandals, and Alex, who gets into appropriately cheerful black slippers with skull motif with barely a murmur. He then proceeds to correctly identify the champagne.

The meal begins, and Vanessa’s tart gets a bit of a slating. When the main arrives the meat is considered overdone by the guests although their host believed it was done to perfection. Catsy had already expressed a hope that it would be rare, and it is not. Alex fawns over the quality of the steak. Bleurgh. Janice, who appears unhappy in her surroundings, gazes into space before the dessert arrives, prompting a quip from Alex about her distance, which does not go down well. The pudding does not prove particularly popular although Alex attempts to bathe in the dessert and ends up wearing a lot of it.

As the night draws to a close Janice launches a scathing in-taxi attack on Alex. Trouble may be brewing.

Scores:

Alex 6, Janice, marking down for the pudding, 6, Catsy 6, total 18

Alex is day 3’s host, and as he gets down to cooking Janice reveals her feelings on him as pompous and self centred- she also states ‘he can’t impress me’, suggesting he is heading for low marks from one person at least! Oblivious, Alex believes his charm offensive is working and is quietly confident.

His menu is chilli garlic prawns, chorizo pasta bake, and fried ice cream for dessert with a chilli chocolate sauce. The guests profess it boring and the dessert as just wrong! He spends time playing with some of the high tech gadgets in his home and then begins an ultimately unsuccessful hunt for ingredients. His wife is able to direct him to the desired item, scarily though, it lives in a cupboard in the loo. Food in the toilet?!

In order the arrivals are Vanessa, then Catsy, and finally Janice, possibly dragging her feet. Having snooped around the gang are aghast at Alex’s filthy bath, and professional cleaner Janice can’t help leaping into action.

The girls are kept waiting for the starter, and on its arrival Catsy’s attempt at seafood related humour, by mentioning a non-existent allergy, falls flat. Alex, perhaps harshly, calls her a bitch to camera. Janice, equally harshly, claims his starter is pants. Vanessa, displaying near psychic abilities, anticipates a clash on the horizon.

The pasta bake arrives and as the guests begin to pick the silence is deafening. To camera the comments indicate that it just isn’t a dinner party dish. Over dessert Janice springs to the attack by announcing that Alex has a problem with her, not regarding her as important in terms of money/intellect. The other two hold their tongues and allow matters to proceed as Alex parries Janice’s thrusts and denies he has any problem with her at all (in a tone that can’t help implying that in fact he dislikes her as much as she dislikes him). Finally Vanessa enters the fray at a gradually escalating volume, calling Janice rude and cutting off the dispute. She later professes herself appalled at Janice’s behaviour and demeanour.

Catsy blames the bad ambience for her score of 6, and who could argue, Vanessa gives 7, and Janice a not unanticipated 3. Total 16

As we approach the final night Alex professes himself highly irritated with Janice for her outburst when he claims he could not really retaliate (owing to a points issue, not that it saved him from a low score) and Catsy, for, to his mind, stirring and trying to sabotage his night. Alex then condemns Catsy’s menu as pretentious. She is making a tapas starter consisting of chorizo en jerez, pimientos de pardon, tostadas con tomate, datilos con bacon and gambas con ajo, a main of slow-roasted shoulder of lamb and a trio of deserts; lemon posset, mini pink pavlova and sticky toffee pudding, to finish. She also requests that her guests come in formal attire.

Janice, looking smart, is the first arrival, then an extremely glamorous Vanessa and finally Alex, looking ridiculous in a red bow tie and black shirt. He pointedly gives a big bouquet of flowers to Vanessa. Catsy identifies that Alex is still sulking.

The starter arrives to a complete lack of conversation. Alex privately slags it off to camera saying ‘mum’s been to Iceland’. Ouch. It’s well received by the others. Alex goes on to drag up and complains over last night at the table, attributing Janice’s dirty bath remark to jealousy. Janice keeps quiet and ignores him. In the face of overwhelming opposition as the tension rises Catsy desperately persists with her optimism. The main arrives. Janice loves it. Alex also claims to love the main in front of the others, saying it is divine, but to camera says he is only emulating Patsy’s OTT enthusiasm. Like a dog with a bone he is soon back to last night, claiming that he was hurt by Janice’s outburst and she hurt his feelings. He tells the camera he is having fun making fun of the food and taunting Janice, which is very sad and immature. On the arrival of the dessert Alex says he won’t like the Pavlova and now claims he didn’t like the Pavlova that Janice made either. He then sarcastically says that this is the best dessert he has had in his life and makes ridiculous noises and gestures of pleasure over it which finally succeeds in getting even perpetually chirpy Catsy cross. He demands to know why Janice is so negative and Catsy gently tries to get him to stop pestering her. Janice walks out. Alex says he is happy with upsetting her, petty man, and while Janice tells the camera she only wants to finish ahead of him in the rankings, Catsy says it will not be right if he wins.

By the end of the evening Alex has definitely displayed the mental makeup of a serial killer, reserved and quiet one moment, completely unhinged the next. His behaviour on this last night really has been cringe-worthy viewing.

End of the evening scores:

Alex 5, Vanessa 8, Janice 8, total 17

Time to reveal the winner, which is Catsy’s job as the last host. Alex’s charm offensive which was totally free of charm has failed in every possible way as he comes 4th, Janice beats him in 3rd, Vanessa is 2nd and Catsy, who has had to put up with a horrid evening is probably the deserving winner. Janice is ecstatic at beating Alex, who claims that just falling out with one of them caused his failure. Nothing to do with a dull pasta bake?!

Hmmm wonder if they will be all be meeting up again?!